have been thinking too much off late.have been putting cautious effort to shield intoxicating thoughts off the mind.too much pressure,too much pain,too much of everything odd.

*girls,where have your pride gone to?and to think that you are already so close to me;filth!i just can't stand this.pride my dear girls,pride!

looking at how easy and openly they speak of "sex experience" itself,i could feel the goosebumps on my skin;the "i shouldnt be here,among them filth" feeling.was i wrong to think that way?,was i wrong as to not respect their individual perspective?

i remembered 3 years ago,i was really disturbed by what my friend had done,(mind you,i was 14 that time,and she was too!)which had really got me thinking all over again,doesnt pride matter to them anymore?is virginity really just a cheap thought?

im seriously disturbed by this.

i would rather die than be tempted to loose my pride in the yield of weakness.